CV Meeting 11/23: Negotiating better experiences (and a show and tell!)

As always, the meeting is going to be Monday 11/23, from 8 to 10 pm, on Columbia's campus, Hamilton 509. Helps to have a map. The weather's gonna be really cold, high 30s with moderate humidity, no rain, and moderate to little wind.

Here's the event description:

When they first come into the scene, many people begin their negotiations with something like "I am into floggers, paddles, knives, blindfolds and rope". But for most of us, it is not the implements themselves that we enjoy, but rather the feelings, experiences, and connection that they can bring about.

In this workshop we will learn how to move away from negotiating implements ("I like knives") into sensations ("I like feeling the pain of the cuts") into feelings ("I want to experience fear and helplessness") and ultimately into connection and exchange ("I like the feeling of surrender I get when you use a knife to express your touch and intentions").

We'll be looking at various implements (bring your own to talk about them!) and exploring what different types of physical sensation they can cause, what feelings they can bring about and in what ways you can use them to connect with your partners.

We will also discuss different modes of negotiation ("I'm okay with x, y, and z and everything else is off the table" vs. "I don't want a, b, and c and especially like x, y, and z and everything else is on the table" and other modes) and how they can change the dynamic of the scene by possibly using implements in a way your bottom didn't expect. We'll also talk about the benefits and caveats of freeform negotiation compared to more tightly setting boundaries.


Hope to see you all there!

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