Monday, November 23, 2015

CV Meeting 11/23: Negotiating better experiences (and a show and tell!)

As always, the meeting is going to be Monday 11/23, from 8 to 10 pm, on Columbia's campus, Hamilton 509. Helps to have a map. The weather's gonna be really cold, high 30s with moderate humidity, no rain, and moderate to little wind.

Here's the event description:

When they first come into the scene, many people begin their negotiations with something like "I am into floggers, paddles, knives, blindfolds and rope". But for most of us, it is not the implements themselves that we enjoy, but rather the feelings, experiences, and connection that they can bring about.

In this workshop we will learn how to move away from negotiating implements ("I like knives") into sensations ("I like feeling the pain of the cuts") into feelings ("I want to experience fear and helplessness") and ultimately into connection and exchange ("I like the feeling of surrender I get when you use a knife to express your touch and intentions").

We'll be looking at various implements (bring your own to talk about them!) and exploring what different types of physical sensation they can cause, what feelings they can bring about and in what ways you can use them to connect with your partners.

We will also discuss different modes of negotiation ("I'm okay with x, y, and z and everything else is off the table" vs. "I don't want a, b, and c and especially like x, y, and z and everything else is on the table" and other modes) and how they can change the dynamic of the scene by possibly using implements in a way your bottom didn't expect. We'll also talk about the benefits and caveats of freeform negotiation compared to more tightly setting boundaries.

Hope to see you all there!

Sunday, November 8, 2015

CV presents: Kink, Disability, and PTSD with @SirGuy (FREE FOOD at JJ's afterwards!)

Hi everyone,

This special GKE con drop edition CV class will be held, as always, Monday from 8pm to 10pm, in Hamilton 509. Helps to have a map. The weather's gonna be clear, mid 50s with no rain and basically no wind.

After the class, I'll swipe up to 10 people into JJ's place, Columbia's premier junk food cafeteria, for free, regardless if you went to GKE or not! Free food!

The traditional images of BDSM and Kink show long lithe bodies with minimal body fat in tiny outfits accentuating muscular sinewy forms. The fact of the matter is that image represents a small percentage of the kink community. There are many who have disabilities, some invisible, others very visible. In addition to our physical limitations, many of us have suffered life traumas that have affected us in a variety of ways. It has recently been realized that many in the general population suffer from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result. How do we deal with our limitations and still enjoy kink and life? How do we help our partners do so?

Sir Guy, a 9/11 first responder who himself deals with PTSD and other disabilities leads this discussion.

Hope to see you all there!


Monday, November 2, 2015

NO CV meeting tonight

Hi everyone,

Just a reminder that we won't be having a CV meeting tonight, 11/2 due to university holiday.

Hope you have a great week!

Monday, October 26, 2015

CV meeting: tonight 10/26, Connective Tying with @Dubious

As always, we'll meet on Monday (10/26) from 8-10pm, in Hamilton 509. The weather's gonna be dry, in the low 50s with barely any wind.

There is nothing dubious about this class! We discuss techniques for building and maintaining connection between the participants in a rope scene. The goal is to better give and take in scenes where we stay focused and immerse ourselves in tying sensually and with affection. We then will practice a variety of exercises together for tying in a slow, mindful and connective way. These activities assume little in the way of prior experience as the emphasis is on the participants themselves.

Please bring rope if you have any, and we'd be super grateful if you could bring extra for people who don't have any! No pressure though, our presenter will have a bit more on hand.

Hope to see you there!

Monday, October 19, 2015

CV presents: tonight! 10/19 Navigating gender-related triggers!

Hi everyone,

We're excited for another event tonight, as always, in Hamilton 509, from 8pm to 10pm. Helps to have a map. The weather will be miserably cold, dipping into the 40s, with winds of up to 10mph. On the bright side it will be dry and mostly clear!

This meeting is going to be most useful for trans and nonbinary people but of course anyone is welcome and everyone will hopefully be able to get something from it (even people who aren't trans or nonbinary might gain a better understanding of how gender plays into a scene). This event is part of Queer Awareness Month!

We'll be talking about:

Getting rid of assumptions -- not everyone likes to have sex or do kink the same way!
Negotiating to use or avoid specific terms for body parts
Ways in which to have sex that minimize dysphoria (we'll be using slides not actual genitals for demonstration; there won't be exposed genitals)
How to handle being triggered during a scene and how to better anticipate the ways in which you or your partner can be triggered and the reactions that are likely to happen
Feeling at home in your body even outside of sex or a specific scene.
This class can be open and free-flowing conversation or more lecture style, depending on what you're comfortable with.

Naturally this class comes with a pretty huge trigger warning around dysphoria. Feel free to step out and leave at any moment and I won't be upset or offended in the least.

About me:

Arya, the president of CV, will be facilitating this class. She's an AMAB transfeminine genderqueer person who's dealt with dysphoria and gender-related sexual assault in her life, which unfortunately makes her as much of an expert on these issues as most other trans or nonbinary people (it is a sad world we live in). Most of the ideas and methods presented in here aren't new, but they have helped her tremendously and maybe they will help you, too.

Hope to see you all there!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Tonight! 10/12 CV presents: Rope Basics with NerdcoreBecca

This meeting will be tonight, Mon 10/12 on Columbia's campus, Hamilton 509, from 8 to 10pm. Helps to have a map. The weather will be high 60s with slight wind and chance of rain towards the end of the event.

This is a crowd-driven 101 workshop based on the needs of the participants. Topics can include single- and double-column ties, basic arm and leg binders, ichinawa/connective rope, rope for people with zero rope skills (knotless rope), or just general discussions on ropey things. Nerdcorebecca has been tying and being tied for nearly 3 years and doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon.

Check out our website:

Hope to see you there!

Monday, October 5, 2015

CV meeting 10/5: Consent with yandy!

Hi everyone,

We're having another exciting class today from 8 to 10pm in Hamilton 509! Here's a map. The weather will be about 60F (15C), dry and not too windy. It might be cold in the room as Columbia's heating isn't on yet, so bring additional layers.

Here's the class description: 

This interactive workshop familiarizes the audience with various theories and models of consent practice as they apply to any type of sexual, BDSM, or intimate interaction. Attendees will leave the workshop with clear and concise working models of a consent practice that is more nuanced than the traditional "no means no" or "yes means yes" frameworks, as well as concrete strategies for, and interactive practice in, applying these models to their own lives and sexual interactions.

More details and RSVP:

Hope to see you there!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

CV Presents: Practical Consent Strategies with @yandy

Hey everyone! "Practical Consent Strategies" (and ways to understand different negotiation frameworks) is coming up on Monday! As usual, Hamilton 509, 8 PM.

If you always wanted to know how to become a better negotiator, and to practice better boundaries/ saying yes/ saying no with grace, this is the class for you. See you all there!

Friday, September 25, 2015

CV presents: Rough Sex for Nice Folks!

Gang, we're thrilled to have Reid Mihalko teaching on Monday, presenting "Rough Sex for Nice Folks." This will happen on Monday 9/28, from 8-10 PM in Hamilton 509. Be a better rough-sex lover without getting a sex injury! Topics covered include: best sex positions for harder sex, how to not break your hand during handsex, wrestling techniques, hair pulling 101, safe breathplay, AND MORE.

RSVP on Fetlife:

Monday, September 21, 2015

CV Meeting 9/21: First Meeting!

This meeting will take place today, Monday 9/21, from 8PM to 10PM, on Columbia's campus, Hamilton 411. Helps to have a map. This is a one-time location; future meetings will probably take place elsewhere.

This is our first meeting of the year! To kick things off, we'll talk a bit about CV and some of the more interesting classes that we're going to have this year, as well as give you a chance to tell us what you'd like to see!

We're also going to talk about cool kink events in the city that are worth checking out, plus some resources.

We'll clarify some of the more esoteric lingo that kinky people have, touch on some tips in negotiating a scene, and do a number of fun consent exercises that will help you more confidently say no!

This is a chance to take part in a meet and greet and, time permitting, share some cool stories!

Check out our new website (all meeting announcements will show up there as well!):

Hope to see you all there!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

We're still migrating

Hi everyone! We're slowly putting the content back up but in the meanwhile, some FAQ:

When is the next meeting? Monday, 9/21, 8-10pm, probably in Hamilton. We'll be sending out an e-mail and we'll make a post here when we have more details about the location. We're going to talk about how to negotiate a scene, we'll do some (fun!) interactive consent workshops and you'll have a chance to tell us what you'd like to see at CV.

How do I best keep updated? Here, as well as the FetLife group, and the mailing list.